Jessica’s Guide to Dating on The Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey, a Book Review

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Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side

(Jessica #1)

Author: Beth Fantaskey

Reading Level: Young Adult

Genre: Paranormal/Romance/Fantasy

Published: February 1st 2009

Review Source: Harcourt

The undead can really screw up your senior year …

Marrying a vampire definitely doesn’t fit into Jessica Packwood’s senior year “get-a-life” plan. But then a bizarre (and incredibly hot) new exchange student named Lucius Vladescu shows up, claiming that Jessica is a Romanian vampire princess by birth—and he’s her long-lost fiancé. Armed with newfound confidence and a copy of Growing Up Undead: A Teen Vampire’s Guide to Dating, Health, and Emotions, Jessica makes a dramatic transition from average American teenager to glam European vampire princess. But when a devious cheerleader sets her sights on Lucius, Jess finds herself fighting to win back her wayward prince, stop a global vampire war—and save Lucius’s soul from eternal destruction.

I am not okay. I wasn’t ready to read this. I thought this was going to be a fun read, a light hearted easy fun romp romance of vampires. I mean just the premise of the book denotes a flirty silly almost embarrassing to be seen reading a book about a teen high schooler reading a “your body is maturing as a young vampire” type thing but holy fucking hell that was a roller coaster I was not prepared for, in the best way, the way you want a book to pull you so far in you get emotional and can’t put it down to be tormented.

At one point I was loathing Luc and seething as things seemingly kept going sideways until I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I tried to devour pages faster to convince myself this wasn’t happening. It went from fun to something twisting my insides and I couldn’t stop myself reading right now, this can’t be happening, this is not their destiny and he can’t be this stupid or she this confused and complicated and I HATE THAT BLOND BITCH but anyway, best fucking read tonight. I’m broken, I’m frustrated, I’m happy and vindicated and just like Lisa Simpson I’m having book feelings all over me right now I gotta take a step back. THAT ENDING WHAT.

If you haven’t read it, get to it because this was tops it destroyed me and I’m happy about it.

I will try to calm down because it is now about 4:30 in the morning and I am still scrambling to pull my thoughts together on this book. We read everything from Jessica’s POV with her inner monologue at times interjecting the quintessential american teenager experience and insecurities on navigating what is her existence in Pennsylvania. Surprise, tall dark and handsome turns up following her and gets obsessive about it, shocker it’s her long-lost-betrothed back from Romania, oh and he’ a vampire prince so she’s a vampire princess, what’s that you say? Eye roll? *cough-twilight-cough* Yeah don’t get fooled, this is not what you are expecting to read. I mean WTF I was caught into something I couldn’t get our of and look where it got me. Emotional, end of the book, freaking out and confused on how I got to this point from my preconceived notions and damn that was a pleasurable torment.